Well done, Rob...

So, there's a bit of a controversy. Of course there is. There's always a controversy. And this is all because of a guy who...

Writes.

Paragraphs.

Like.

This.

On the Dayton Subway System

OK, admit it, you didn't know Dayton had a subway, did you? I mean, you've been here for years, or maybe you've just visited for a while and you just thought to yourself "wait...what?"

Why doesn't Apple...

If you couldn't tell, this is going to be a tech related post. You'll probably do well to bug out now if you're not interested...

Mulch Faries

So, yesterday I got a text from Lisa...

It's really pouring the rain down here. And on a side note did we get new mulch?

Now, putting aside the fact that this was probably one of the top ten random segues in texting history...what?

Now, I heard that it was raining so I did check with her to see if maybe it was just wet and looked somehow cleaner or...something. Anything to explain the inexplicable appearance of new mulch in our flowerbed.

No, not old much. New mulch. It's definitely new mulch.

So I come home, take one look at the mulch and deduce that, indeed, this is totally new mulch. Not even close to the old much. Old mulch was black, this is, I guess, the color they call "golden."

But they only did the main flower bed and the area around a tree on the other side of the garage. The flower bed across the path and the two trees in front of the house got no love.

They also trimmed exactly one shrub.

But, as Lisa pointed out, there was a good rain storm yesterday. Our thought was maybe they'd finish today.

No such luck yet. But it was a pretty rainy day today, too.

So we're anxious to see if the mulch fairies return. We're kind of hoping they do because, well, it's actually making the place look pretty good.

Hopefully they didn't realize halfway through the job that the mulch and trim job was supposed to be for another house and now we're stuck with half-golden half-black mulch out front.

Anyways, it was random, just thought I'd share.

Things I wanted to tweet, but couldn't

Forgot my black belt. I'll be doing my patented "twisting tug up" for the foreseeable future. At least I have black socks.

Hmm...someone smells like patchouli. I'm blaming this one on Bodey.

Bodenmiller's standing still...except his right hand is totally playing along with the special music. BUSTED.

Reception at a YMCA summer camp. Chances of open bar diminishing rapidly.

No service. How do you report that to AT&T?

Acoustic version of "Hey Yeah." I'm tempted to do something I'd regret during the Polaroid picture part.

Pitzels! It's like someone rolled over a waffle with deliciousness.

Lake Erie, it's big, but I hesitate to call it "great." But, admittedly, the "Big Lakes" does sound a little lame.

Girl playing acoustic guitar in the corner just started playing "Party in the U.S.A." Don't know if it's sadder that I recognized it, that I know most of the words, or that I'm dancing a little bit in place.

Redeemed: I still know all the words to "Supertones Strike Back."

Just drove through North Springfield. I've been in East Springfield and I'm headed towards West Springfield, but, as of yet, I have yet to find the original Springfield. Maybe it was taken out by a comet.

Days Inn. Wouldn't stay here for days, but I think 12 hours isn't enough to catch anything.

TV in the lobby is playing Legends of the Fall. It was playing Legends of the Fall when we checked in last night. That is one dang long movie.

I smell Akron! (Akron and acrid. Those words must be linguistically linked somehow)

There's an outlet mall up for auction. Someone's going to get a good deal on that. Irony included at no additional charge.

Heard a Kings Island commercial while driving by KI. Heard a Tiger update while driving by the golf course. Now scared to drive by sewer treatment plant.

Hamilton-Mason Rd is now Liberty Way. I'm curious who we're offended at; Hamilton or Mason. If Mason-Montgomery is now Freedom St, we have an answer.

Thinking of getting skinny

Yes, me.

I know, it's weird that I should be considering anything health related, but I'm thinking it might be time. I've, well, let myself go for some time and it's high time I sucked it up and did something about it.

(that last paragraph used "it's" and "time" altogether too many...times. I promise it won't happen again)

So, what brought this on? Simply put, I'm trying to lose my baby weight. Yes, I know that's not how it works, but hear me out. When Lisa was pregnant with Chi she would routinely eat about half of her meal and then realize that she was full. Full to the point of being uncomfortable around food. She'd then offer me the rest of her plate and, like the glutton I am, I'd eat it. I picked up a good 10-15 pounds before I realized this was a bad idea.

And, if I want to be totally honest, I'm going to have to admit that, really, I wasn't in the best shape beforehand, either. Lisa and I had been going to the gym a bit before she got pregnant and the summer before Chi was born I rode my bike to and from work pretty regularly, but I was still a good 10 or so pounds over where I want to be. Sure, I was heading in the right direction and my cardio was pretty good, but I still needed to get down a bit.

So lately I've been working on that "portion management" thing we're supposed to be doing. Smaller servings, avoiding seconds when I can. Overall logical stuff. And, honestly, I haven't been perfect, but I've managed to drop a few pounds. But in order to actually get back to skinny and loose the gut I need some help. But there are problems...

The first problem, most logically, is time. I'd love to say I could spend an hour a day running the bike trail right by our house but, really, I don't have an hour a day. Really, a half hour would be pushing it. But a good half hour a day, if well managed and consistent, could get the dial on the scale turning the right way.

The second problem is the cutest: Chi. I love him to death but he does make it hard to run or bike or whatever. My first thought here was to just head out every morning before he got up and then I had the wake up call that, guess what, he's still in the house. I can't go running and leave my one year old home alone. Even if I'm running just in my neighborhood I think child services would frown upon such things. Although I do wonder what the range on our baby monitor would be...and if that doesn't work, could I hook up an iPhone app to stream video/audio of Chi's room to my phone while I run? Actually that could work...wait. No. Not practical. Need another solution.

And as a corollary to the first two problems, Lisa leaves the house at 6:30 every morning. That's dang early. Especially since some days I'm working until 11:00. The majority of the days I work until 11 I have to be at work at 8 after dropping Chi off, which means just the logistics of my morning means I'm up at 6:00 already and, frankly, it's not easy just to walk out the door. Forget exercise. Also, as I mentioned, some days I'm working evenings, which means I'm not able to work out then either. And the days I don't work evenings I try to be around to help Lisa as much as possible since she's been with Chi all day. One advantage is that the days I work until 11 I do get to go to work at 10:00. This would be a good opportunity except that Chi's usually up well in advance of this and I still can't leave the house to do something. Also, every week I'm either off Monday, Friday or the first half of Thursday, which is also a great opportunity if it weren't for the fact that I'm providing childcare to Chi at that time.

And the third problem is probably also more universal: motivation. The thought had occurred to me that I could just run laps in my basement. It's about 50x40 and the run would net me about 180 feet a lap. 28 1/2 laps per mile. 750 laps would be a marathon, if you're keeping score. That sounds boring. And if I get bored, I'm going to quit. And if I quit, I'm going to stay fat and it's going to be even harder for me to talk myself into starting up again next time. It's a vicious cycle.

So, what do I do? There are three basic options:

1. Suck it up, wake up at 5:45, go run for 30 minutes and then come back in and sleep/shower/get ready. Do this every day, even the days I'm off.

2. Run in the basement in the mornings when I work late and outside on the evenings I don't (try doing this after Chi's in bed). The days I'm off just pick a time that works (Chi's morning nap comes to mind) and run in the basement. Suck up the lack of entertainment.

3. Stay fat. Admittedly the easiest option. Takes pretty much no work but gives pretty much no reward.

But each of those has pros and cons.

1. Like I said, some nights I work until 11. 5:45 is really early after 11:00. Also, it's early. Did I mention the lack of sleep? I know I'd miss one and then I'd be mad. Then I'd miss 2 and be resigned to failure. It also doesn't give me much room to lengthen my workout if I decide I want to (unlikely, but you never know).

2. The days I work late tend to follow the days I don't. This means that I'd run in the evening on a Monday, in the morning on a Tuesday, on an evening on Wednesday and in the morning on Thursday. That's stacked up in a way most physical trainers would frown upon. One logical solution to this would to be to run only in the evenings when I work a normal shift, but my evenings tend to not be that empty, so that's it's own problem. Mornings tend to be clear, but see the discussion above about the logistics of that.

3. Admittedly, it sounds tempting.

So, as I'm writing this, I'm at a loss. Maybe I just don't have time for it. Maybe we just don't have time for it. Sad.

Any other ideas from out there? Anyone? Anyone with child, job and life figure out how not to end up a little chunky? Well, anyone that doesn't have a metabolism that would shame a chipmunk?

Oh, but I have decided on some tools to help me get there once I do decide on a method. I'm looking at the Nike+ system. It'll work with my iPod and log my runs/gasping staggers for me. Then I sync the system and I can get reports about how I'm doing or how badly I'm doing or how many times I've skipped. That's tempting. I'm a firm believer that what cannot be measured cannot be improved, so this is a good way to measure and improve. But I've got to get the time to use it, first, and that's the problem.

Snow driving.

OK, peeps, here's the rules. If you're going to be on the road and it's sketchy out there, please follow the following guidelines.

Be Prepared

Check your washer fluid and replace it with the anti-freeze stuff. You can find this all over the place in colder climates starting in about October. Start putting it in then so that by the time winter gets started in earnest, you've got a good concentration of it in the tank.

Make sure your wipers are good. Nothing shows imperfections in wipers like snow. Watch them carefully in the rain and, if you see streaking, replace them.

Get a kit together. Actually two kits. The first for everyday and the second for any trips you have to make in the winter. The first kit can be simple: ice scraper/snow brush combo, cell phone and charger, non-clumping kitty litter. The second kit is the first kit plus some blankets, a few non-perishable food items, a deck of cards and some sort of shovel. If you're traveling in a well developed area on major roads there's not much need for an emergency survival kit since you're probably one phone call from rescue and, if you get really stuck, you're going to be towed out. But if you're off in the middle of nowhere you could do worse than to have those handy.

Know your limits.

Get to know your car and how it handles (or doesn't) in the snow. Church parking lots can be great for this (ask first). Just go out, do some doughnuts, put it into a skid and get out of it, break way too hard for the conditions, and overall just have fun (it also helps to offer to clean up afterwards, if you can. The intern/youth pastor/facilities guy would love to have someone help them spread salt in the cold).

Consider why you're going out and, if possible, don't. There are very few reasons to go out in a class 3 snow emergency and most of them would be better served by calling 911 and letting them come to you or by walking next door and bumming some grub or TP if you were caught totally off guard. As the conditions improve, the reasons need to be less and less, but at least give it a good thought.

4 wheel drive is a blessing and a curse. At low speeds it distributes torque to 4 tires instead of 2 so you have a better chance of getting grip and getting out. However, once you're up past first gear, it's actually taking the torque you need and distributing over 4 wheels what would really be handy to have focused on 2 (especially the front ones). So the faster you go, the worse 4WD is for you. Also, even if 4WD did offer you better steering and better acceleration at high speed in the snow (which, in super optimal conditions, it may), you still don't have the power to stop and faster than anyone else. And everyone else isn't going slow because they can't go faster, it's because they know how hard it will be to stop if they do.

Be aware.

When driving you should know what cars are around you, have an idea what's coming up and be forming plans on what to do if things go wrong. And things will go wrong eventually. Knowing there's an empty spot in the lane to your left just behind the black SUV might save your bumper if the car in front of you has to stop suddenly. Knowing there's a snow bank to the right and oncoming traffic to the left gives you a good idea where to try and steer if you can't stop (hint: go for the drift).

Traffic reports are handy, but turn off the radio otherwise. Listening to the engine and road noise can often give you a split second of advanced notice that things are going wrong. If your engine starts to rev, you probably need to back off. If you start hearing slush hitting the bottom of your car in a different way, it's safe to say conditions have changed and you may need to adjust accordingly. Passengers screaming from the back seat could indicate that you're about to be hit by a speeding snow plow. That, or you you need better friends.

And, yes, texting and talking on the phone while driving is pretty much a bad idea anyways, but it should go without saying that in adverse conditions it's even worse. Unless someone was calling you to tell you about something that could prove to be immediately fatal (like a ninja assassin in your back seat, for instance), your driving takes precedent. Put it on silent and check for messages when you arrive.

Consider the other guy.

Most accidents in bad weather are caused by the other guy. Don't be that guy.

Drive with traffic, at the same speed as that traffic. If you're not comfortable with the speed of the highway, get off and take a back road. If you're going way faster than everyone else, slow down. Even if you can handle it, making everyone adjust to your speed can cause more problems. Also, if someone pulls out in front of you going much slower you're going to hit them and then nobody wins. If you do decide to pass be careful and refer to the next paragraph...

Stay in your lane. Changing back and forth between lanes is annoying in normal traffic, but in bad weather it's just one more thing that every other driver must now adjust to, so don't do it. If you must, signal way in advance, let them make you a hole (they should in this weather) and then merge over slowly and deliberately, preferably on a straight section of the road.

Clean your car. You're surely not dumb enough to be the guy that only clears a small portion of the windshield so you can see out. But besides the windows and windshield, take time to do the hood, the roof and the trunk lid. You'll appreciate not blowing the snow on the hood into the windshield and the folks behind you will appreciate not being behind a rolling whiteout on the onramp. This goes double for vans and trucks who can lose huge chunks of roof snow all at once. One of those hitting the road in front of a skittish driver might be all it takes to send them out of control. Also, take the 1.4 seconds and wipe off your headlights. Everyone else will thank you.

Now that they're clean, turn on your head lights. Look at the cars ahead of you. Notice how the cars without lights kind of fade away after about 100 feet? Don't be those guys. Also, while we're here, use your turn signals.

Leave good following distance. Remember the two second rule? Make it three or, better yet, 4. If possible, stagger with the lane beside you so that the car over there and slightly in front of you can jump over if he needs to. And when someone does get between you and the car you were following at a healthy but not do distant pace let off the gas, let the space between you increase and then resume following.

And as a corollary, if someone is following too close to you...let them pass. Yes, you're in the right, but that's small consolation when you're picking pieces of SUV grill out of your hair.

That's about all I have, really. I'm sure there's more, but seriously, be careful out there and try not to do anything stupid.